Master in Procastination

What it looks like

I guess you know what I'm talking about. You plan your day the night before in your head: "I will wake up, do some yoga, drink my lemonwater, have a healthy breakfast and then finally start on that canvas that has been waiting 2 months. About noon I will write my blogpost, contact that gallery I intended to do for a year and then go bike. I will cook a healthy meal, pay my bills, answer my mails and do all administration I've been putting off the last weeks."

Next morning, lemonwater and breakfast can be crossed off the list. I even managed to look through the doorpost and see that blanc canvas waiting for me. And then.. reality kicks in.

I got a phonecall. Which was not very important, but got me off the routine I had in my mind.

Also, my cat comes home with an injured paw needing to be taken to the vet. The planning is now completely off course. I lose more than two hours calling, waiting, getting medicine aso. I'm so much heading into a non productive day...

When I try to make up for the lost time by opening my laptop, I get distracted. Facebook. Bad idea. Which I did open with good reason, recapturing a picture for my blogpost. But.. instead of just getting that damn picture, I start reading comments and opening events. Before I know it, another two full hours are wasted very uneffectively and it's time to get my son from school and start making dinner. I manage to create a bit of qualitytime with him by playing a game together but when he's off to bed, all lust and good intent for painting, let alone get my admin done are down the drain. So I end up in the sofa with an interesting book but can't concentrate on it. At last I give up and go to bed with, again, the intention to create a more productive day tomorrow. Does this sound familiar to you? Yes?

Congratulations, you made it into the club!

Then you have mastered procastination as well as I. Congratulations and welcome into the club! ^^

Ofcourse, it's a complicated thing. Sometimes things really cross your day and make you forget or unable to get your commitments resolved. Also, my health is playing games with my mindset and energylevels at times. Besides that, there is fear. I saw a wonderful animated ted-talk about procastination on youtube, which you can watch beneath. The man talks about the monster getting you out the playground, into working.

There is an other monster luring

I want to add to this that there is also a HUGE monster working in your subconcsious while procastinating. Because, let us be honest, I LOVE making art. I LOVE painting, sculpting and writing. So why the hell would I procastinate on something I am passionate about? The youtube video didn't answer this question. So I got inside myself and found out about the second monster. Thàt monster is a three buildings big dragon called "FEAR FOR FAILURE" and looks like this:

Let me give you an example. If I get to DO the work and finish my painting, contact the gallery, get my blogpost posted, I might get criticized. People will be able to say they hate my work. They can pull me down. They might disapprove of my work, in which case I myself will be feeling rejection. So..

To protect me from this downright pain, the procastination-monkey works his butt off by letting me play, getting events into my life which put me off course or even by making me feel down or less energized as I would want to be consciously, in order to avoid the huge pain of being rejected.

The good news

Once I understood the mechanism, I could look at it with gratitude. Let us call the procastination-mokey a Genius. There is a lot of love and brilliance behind its actions. By accepting (and not constantly hating) my system creates this huge orchestrated effort for avoiding even the tiniest chance to get rejected, the pain itself gets less horrifying. Selflove increases. And strange but true, the need to procastinate reduces quite instantly.

This is why you can read this blogpost. Why I got on the phone with a gallery this week. Or why I finally started a new canvas yesterday. Selflove, is key.